The traditional girls night out is something used to look forward to but after I got married a year ago I am afraid I have let that tradition fade a little. Last weekend my friends insisted, my husband demanded I go, and so I went and it was great.

Does it sound like I am a little less enthusiastic than I should be? I know--it is weird. I did have a great time BUT...and you knew there would be a "but" as I am well known for my "cheekyness"...it was odd. Perhaps I should explain.

Before I was married those "girls nights out" saved me from boredom and large containers of ice cream, neither of which is healthy. I looked forward to them--I even planned them. So why did I suddenly just not "need" them anymore?

I know what you are thinking--I got married so I didn't "need" them anymore to catch a man but that is wrong. Our "girls nights out" rarely if ever had anything to do with finding a man and it was not what some people would assume to be "man-bashing" parties either.

This was a group of women, all successful professionals with wonderful careers. We would meet, celebrate our successes and gave each other encouragement or advice. We mentored each other. Men had nothing to do with these get-togethers unless we had a male colleague that we needed advice about.

When my 20 year medical career ended due to a work injury I felt like I had nothing to celebrate and the advice was not forth-coming. Why? Because none of them had been in my spot and were afraid, having watched just how easily my career was taken from me. The end of my career was like that wart everyone pretends they do not see and the silence was deafening. Nobody knew what to say.

So, I went to "girls night out" with apprehension, afraid that I had moved on with my life in a direction these women may not approve of. Prior to this I would simply state I was "retired" and they all feigned jealousy, but they all knew how much I had loved my career and they knew I had mourned that loss deeply.

A year had passed since we last had met and my life had changed dramatically. This cheekyredhead was not the same as the one they had known for so many years and I was unsettled with the idea I might be sitting in on a judgement session and I may be the main course.

What an idiot...me that is. They were glad to hear that I was in school rebuilding my education after colleges ripped it apart. These woman were surprised and very supportive when they learned I am now an activist fighting for change, writing legislation for the American Legion to change policy at colleges and universities. They were all pleased that I hadn't let my injury steal my need for adventure and became certified in scuba diving.

More than anything, I realized these women had been pulling for me all along. Sometimes when life sends you big curves there are switch-backs too. I had missed these women, the camaraderie we shared and their support.

I may not have that career which used to define me so well but now I have more options to choose from. Colleges may refuse to acknowledge my vast experience and military career but they will feel my mark on them ultimately as my goal is now to foster change. If not for me, for others like me.

These women reminded me that nothing is as vibrant as a goal. We had all supported each other's goals in the past and it had been silly of me to think they wouldn't stand by me now.

Now more than ever I realize that each of us in that group will someday be in my shoes, either by a forced retirement or technology evaporates our speciality. We must be forward thinking AND keep our friendships strong. Change will always be the center of our relationships.

My husband was relieved that I was once again "Hangin' with my peeps"...in his words: "You have to stay connected and involved." I am SO glad I went and I look forward to our next "girls night out" because I no longer feel as though I didn't have anything to add.

That was just silly. How many of you have ever found me unable to find anything to add? It is more an issue of making me stop!
All of you will probably say my comments need to be more brief.
You are probably thinking...Thank goodness for her "peeps!"